I pick up my daughter on weekends. “My child is under the influence of someone who doesn’t want him/her to contact me.” The problem with all of these points, of course, is the boomerang effect that occurs whenever a parent blames her own child for poor behavior. She remembers being in the same vicinity as he while family fun was being had. Why doesn't he want to communiicate about my daughter? Shared care arrangements will need to be varied by the court. No helpful advice for you. If that was aimed at me concrete I suggest you read my post again, especially the bit that says there's no blame. )She is scared of him, and usually there is a reason when children are so scared of their parent they don't want to see them. Many parents take the silent treatment personally. Author: Jess B. I'm just trying to support her the best I can and give her opportunity to talk if she needs to. I think its great that you have a mom you can talk to (even … Badmouthing your co-parent in front of your child or interrogating your child about the other parent once they get home could influence your child's desire to attend scheduled contact. Sometimes this is because a child doesn't know how to talk about it - or is finding it difficult to find the words to express themselves. I continued to read, The story began, "In the painful days after my husband's death, I crafted a eulogy that concluded with a thought from the 'Book of Laughter and Forgetting,' by Milan Kundera. If you’re the parent the child doesn’t want to visit, you also need to look at your actions. When parenting apart the most loving thing the custodial parent can do for the child is facilitate a healthy and positive relationship with the other parent. Can they recommend any resources for DD to talk to somebody about her fears ? Talk to your co-parent about what's going on, and work together to create a plan for handling the situation. It’s possible that even without speaking a word about her father, you’ve been inadvertently setting an emotional tone that supports your daughter’s resistance to seeing him. Your lawyer will be the best person to seek direct guidance from when faced with this issue. This was really obvious at a school event recently which he had been taken to by his dad but I was there also, I didn't question my son about it as that wouldn't be fair but he clearly thought he couldn't look at me. The last time she was there he had a bit of an emotional meltdown, crying that he missed her, crying that he was lonely til it got to the point that he phoned me to say he was keeping her off school on the Monday as she was 'too upset' to go. She is outgoing and sings and dances! When he is here he says he doesn't want to go back but because he is so young I know his father will never take his opinion as relevant. Its heart breaking to hear. It lets him know that his … (disclaimer, I know very little about this, but want to learn more. If your child does not reach out to you, don't close the door. Child Doesn’t Want to See Alcoholic Parent on Father’s Day. I had to go with ex for initial assessment then attended sessions both with dds and them without me. My child doesn't want to go/stay with her father on his visitations anymore..? A child so close to majority usually has his preference followed. proposed mediation etc. Perhaps it’s time to remind yourself that what’s done is done and what’s past is past. She stuck by the letter of the law, and was able to severely limit my contact with my son by way of orders of protection and maintaining to the courts that he was a ‘danger.’ Orders of protection as divorce strategy. Talk with his pediatrician, and, if he's in preschool, with his teacher. Sometimes this is because a child feels anxious or uncomfortable talking about the situation (ie, perhaps they don't want to upset someone, or perhaps they are worried about getting in trouble). That man is abusing your children. It has been said elsewhere but talking is not the primary language for children. When Your Child Doesn't Want to Visit You. It's to give them a say in the child's upbringing, jabs or school for example. My ex is now threatening me with legal action over my daughter not going to see him and refuses to see that there is an issue between the two of them, instead he is blaming me for the situation. Can the court require the mother to force the child to take the phone? The father was granted permission to call his son once a week, but everytime that he calls, the mother tells the 4 year old that his father is on the phone and she asks him if he wants to talk to him. Will he ever change? She never stops talking to us. I know mine are older, but 10 is old enough to have legal responsibility if an offence is committed so it should be old enough to have her views heard. If using the OFW Calendar to track parenting time, you can create a journal entry to document changes to the regular parenting schedule such as scheduled contact that was missed. tell him totake it back to court. The father was granted permission to call his son once a week, but everytime that he calls, the mother tells the 4 year old that his father is on the phone and she asks him if he wants to talk to him. If a child doesn't want to use those rights any longer, that's her prerogative. they used various techniques to draw out what was going on , what they wished from dad to make contact ok, etc etc. Thoughtfully consider your child's opinions, but remember that you are the one in charge. Some children refuse to go visit their father because once there, they are offered things Mommy does not approve of. Her contact with him is now sporadic but she's a little bit older and is able to articulate just why she doesn't want to go (Naturally according to eX and OW, I'm suffering from PAS - naturally it's not them who holds DD in the night when she's screaming with flashbacks to when he was dragging her around in a fury )I would actually embrace the intervention of Cafcass - it may be that DD will be able to articulate her fears to them. I had attempted to start mediation with my ex over the situation indeed an appointment was booked but he declined to engage in this. Providing there is no abuse taking place, it is not in your dd's best interests to be deprived of a relationship with her father, even if it appears to be her choice. He throws an absolute fit and will NOT come to the phone. 6 years ago. May 19, 2015. Our 18-year-old has no memory of any positive interactions with him. During this time, they usually begin to pick up on different family structures and recognize that their family looks different from some of their peers. The seem to now know her as the little girl who doesn't talk. through completing a form C1A and speaking to CAFCASS on the phone before the hearing and in person at the hearing. is there any way of gently finding out. I would like to be able to communicate with him to talk about our daughter. A coworker of mine had this happen to her, and it took her daughter YEARS to even want to talk to her dad again, and several more years to actually want to spend time with him. My attorney says he gets to choose, but my ex’s attorney says he doesn’t. Do not share your feelings with your child. It can be very upsetting for a parent when he/she has to go seven days without seeing his/her kids and the other parent doesn't allow the … If this has happened to you: How did you explain this to your children? Keep the channels there incase he changes his mind in the future though. Currently if you do not make her available you are in breach of the order. It is impossible trying to talk about this with her father as he feels that her behaviour is my doing. Ex-Etiquette®, runs in countless … If either refuses let him go the legal route and get the professional services involved to speak to your DD about why she doesn't want to go.Support her and don't communicate with him when he goes off the deep end. It's certainly possible to frustrate an abusive man and keep him away from DC, particularly if he continues to behave badly and the OP is able to amass evidence of this. Legally, he's got no right to see her, or your son.She's got the right to see him, as does her brother.If she doesn't want to use those rights, she doesn't have to.I agree with SGB about why that might be.Put her needs first. Step away from your boyfriend. if she distressed at contact you can argue in court this is "reasonable excuse" for her not to go - if you proactive in asking for help with dd then cafcass/court will see you are dong the right thing t try to resolve the situation. Don't try to fix it, but instead validate how they are feeling. But be careful. has he abused her? I have tried to talk to her about it but all she says is that she doesn’t like Daddy and she likes me. We have joint custody and she lives with me (state of Texas). She simply doesn't like being away from home and misses me. However, at home, she is a different child. While these kids are silent, their parents quickly learn to speak up. asks from Churchville, NY on May 08, 2009 15 answers. That was his mistake as much as yours. “But really the child can’t speak because he’s paralyzed by intense anxiety.” Children with selective mutism might have toileting accidents because they don’t want to attract attention by visiting the washroom. I love you. Keep visits short and … ... My son is five now and rarely mentions not having a dad … Don’t allow your child to see your disappointment and concern. She’s had spells where she just doesn’t want to visit him. He has refused all suggestion that he should perhaps see his GP. In nearly any situation like this, properly notifying your co-parent and documenting what occurred is key. You’re going to be just as pre Here's a few to get started, but you can probably add many more. He completely ignores me. Parents and adults decide about these things because children are too immature to make wise decisions even in their own self-interests. It gives Hera sense of power also . Laughter is a great tension-dissolver and connection-builder. Let him take you to court. Encouraging your co-parent to reach out to your child through phone calls or video chats can provide a way for them to connect with your child in a low-stress environment. If your child asks the same questions over and over, it doesn't mean you did a bad job explaining your family. When your kids start to share their feelings about their dad being absent, be sure to listen. I don't want to talk to him." June 17, 2015. Father of your child doesn't want to be with me, will he change his mind in the future?? this doesn't stop dad demanding more but if they wont go; it wont happen. Resources If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer. But it doesn't explain why your ds is seemingly still happy to see him. Repetition is reassuring to preschoolers, so be receptive to talking about family whenever your child asks. Since then she has asked for a 'break' from seeing him and even now wont see him even for a couple of hours during the day. I went and fetched her home. If there is something that is endangering her, talk to your lawyer immediately about changing the court order. Naturally, they will have questions. She seems to think its her fault he was so sad (he misses her etc). You may find that your daughter will communicate her feelings in other ways. It's made to legalise children's rights. My daughter has told me that her father 'makes them say things' about me which she says when she was younger she did do to make him 'happy'. i have spoken with pastors and Christian counselors on this and they are the ones who suggested this and showed me other passages in the Bible to support this. Parental responsibility doesn't automaticaly give a parent the right to see a child. and me without them. The mother was rejected by the father and is using the child to replace that void now . Your child's request to live with your ex doesn’t have to be seen as a negative evaluation of who you are as a person or a parent. My estranged daughter, who doesn’t want to talk to me The letter you always wanted to write Sat 21 Jan 2017 01.30 EST Last modified on Sat 21 Jan 2017 01.33 EST You may also consider bringing a third-party neutral or mental health professional into the conversation, such as a family therapist or counsellor for your child. And people don’t want to be judged.” Kolari says the car is a great place to talk with kids this age—they don’t have to make eye contact with you, which can make some kids uncomfortable. Read my article Can’t vs. Won’t and you’ll see why. Keep transitions short, sweet, and reassuring. If you’re having a hard time viewing your child's request objectively, talk with a friend or counselor about how you can separate your child’s request from your identity as a parent. Sometimes he doesn’t remember what we did for him and the help and support we have given him. When dad doesn't cut it: we ask whether you should forgive or forget a father who keeps failing you. Promote the fact that both you and your co-parent love your child and that it's vital for them to spend time with each of you, even if they don't see it the same way. However, it's important that parents remain united so that the child doesn't believe he/she can use one parent against the other. Child Not Wanting to Talk to Me on the Phone When She Is with Her Father. Let your child express their feelings to you without judgment. Suggest to him and your DD that they do some family therapy together? Look for laughter, and join in. Although the oldest refused, the other children stuck fairly closely with the visitation agreement. Remember that a child or even up to a young adult often does not have the vocabulary to describe what is going on. Do you have a good solicitor ? The reasons as to why your child is refusing contact with your co-parent are unique to your situation, but some causes might include: Your child is unhappy with the rules they must follow at your co-parent's house. If it is a choice between doing X with her mom and Y with her dad, even if Y costs 10X the amount and is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, she will choose her mom. Before your child leaves to visit or stay for an extended time with your co-parent, make sure they have everything they need packed and ready to go. Perhaps, but also loving, because you're finding common ground with your child, says Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. I agree with PPs who said that this has to be YOUR decision. the upshot after few months is that dd1 resolute in no contact and dd2 only wants infrequent. This thread is not accepting new messages. See for yourself how the OFW toolset can transform your co-parenting. Q. I haven’t seen my father in over ten years. Its been almost 2 months now. if your dd is able to express in safe setting and with trained therapist what she dislikes about contact, what could make it better and whether there is possibility that dad would listen then over some months things may resolve - or may be clearer that contact is not in her best interest. Signing is an AWESOME way to help with communication as well as jump start speech, and IT’S NEVER TOO LATE! Yes our split was acrimonious however I have always encouraged my DD and my DS to maintain a relationship with their father. I would agree with obtaining legal advice: maybe this blog will help toosurviveseparation.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/contact-arrangements-for-children.html. I now have a very distressed DD again. She has had some contact with him over the telephone but now says that she doesn't want to talk to him on the phone either and is again becoming very upset about it and worried every time the phone rings. This is page 1 of 2 (This thread has 32 messages.). Reassure them by showing them they are loved by you for who they are—not what they or someone else has done. My unborn baby's father has decided he doesn't want anything to do with him/her. Stop Inviting Mom Once the Kids are Adults? Subjecting a child to any sort of DV is considered to be abusive behaviour.If the teachers are supportive, I would use them as a source of further support. Get the court order changed ASAP. Talk with your child, and allow your child to express their feelings. In the beginning, I’ve tried to talk to her even though I don’t get along with her father. When Your Adult Child Stops Talking to You: 5 Things They Want You to Know. When it's your turn to respond, do so with kindness and understanding. If your child asks the same questions over and over, it doesn't mean you did a bad job explaining your family. But she doesn't play with any of the girls in her class either. The fact that your ex wants to force contact when she doesn't want it speaks volumes about the kind of man, and father, he is. Child Doesn’t Want to See Alcoholic Parent on Father’s Day. If this has happened to you: ... My son is five now and rarely mentions not having a dad anymore. I see this as a positive. Seems to me there's a fairly obvious explanation - this man hates women and therefore bullies your DD but not your DS. Get our newsletter for OFW FAQs, co-parenting tips, and much more. Quite difficult atm, but I just have to be strong. They may not like what you have to say, but in the end, they will appreciate it. For the last 4 years we've had a fairly flexible arrangement that's based around her going to his every second week from Thursday evening to Monday after school. Whether you're newly separated or well-versed in co-parenting, you recognise the importance of sticking to your parenting agreement. Talk to your child and encourage your ex to do this exercise with your child too; Talk to your partner about what you both think are the blocks to your child wanting to visit them; Identify one thing that you can each do to help minimise these blocks; Think about how you can break things down into smaller steps. Once is probably enough. and I see them as valid...I was also able to make clear I wasn't stopping them having contact, indeed was encouraging them. Help prepare for your next supervised visitation with these 5 fundamentals. Keep a copy yourself. It’s okay to feel sad about my divorce (or death of a parent). Did you try to make sure your children have other male role models in their life? Talk through how you feel about the trip with a friend or family member. In fact, missing out on their scheduled contact times could put your family in a tough position. But situations like these are common and it's not always because the fathers are arseholes.Anyway, if he is genuinely abusive then surely you're on fairly safe ground op in terms of not making her see him. Many children have trouble sleeping through the night, but the stress of a separation or divorce in…, Part of managing the act of parenting after divorce is being able to recognize common mistakes and…, As co-parents, it is your responsibility to find a way to manage communication without putting your…, Supervised contact can help foster healthy and loving relationships between children and parents…. this will also show courts that you taking your dd distress seriously and looking for solution. The OP can refuse contact on the grounds that this man has breached it by his bad behaviour; his refusal to engage in mediation etc will put him in a bad light. Estrangement from important others is a sad fact of life for many people. For the past 10 months she rarely wants to talk to me on the phone when she is with her father. therapists who observed will also feed back to him...what it did do was make it clear the reasons why they want no or infrequent contact. There are so many reasons that your teen might not want to talk that they are almost impossible to list. I have a daughter who just turned 5 years old. ... Then it’s back to school time and our oldest is angry with him for something that daddy said and doesn’t want to visit with him. We have found out now today that he has approached the court for breach of order (letter received from CAFCASS but not the court yet). But that doesn't reduce your responsibility towards your parenting agreement. My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to go from Friday-Monday. The 4 year old cries and screams "NO! No, you don't HAVE to make them talk to Dad, you WANT to make them talk to Dad. Understanding why your child doesn't want to visit their other parent. There is the assumption that the man will just sit there and take the abuse because he does not want to lose the child. June 1, 2015. I dont talk to my father anymore for a few years because he is toxic. No matter the reason as to why your child is refusing to spend time with their other parent, you must manage this situation in an appropriate, fair manner. Resources If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer. If she's afraid of him then I wouldn't make her visit him - she will probably resent you for it in the long run. If your child isn't showing these signs of readiness, you may want to make an appointment for a speech and hearing screening. We separated when I was about 12 weeks pregnant (now 20) and I haven't seen him in weeks. But she's got to rely on the adults in her life respecting her wishes, either by not enforcing what they mistakenly think are their rights or by getting the court order changed.These children's views need to be heard and acted upon. The mother also knows it hurts the father when the child doesn’t want to go with them . Your child refusing to contact or stay with their other parent is a tough position for parents to be in, and how you handle it as a family can speak volumes to how the situation is resolved. Here's how to talk to your child about abandonment and why she doesn't know her father. He was at our house in the end for nearly half an hour and in the end my DD told him to stop it and walked away. He comes across very selfish and self-obsessed. I believe that my DD has witnessed domestic violence at her fathers house and also a very aggressive approach to her which has resulted in her being very scared of her him. I am desperate to help her and protect her welfare at the same time as trying to reason with why she feels the way she does. Unfortunately he may be encouraging your DS to hate women as well. Father's Day 4th of July ... No amount of pushing can get 10-year-old Azar Shrestha to open up when he doesn't want to. 10 is old enough to be listened to by a court, seek advice from Rights of Women and Women's Aid as well as your solicitor. reply #4. gummybears. Which cannot be ignored. Apraxia is a neurological speech disorder that affects a child’s ability to plan, execute, and sequence the movements of the mouth necessary for intelligible speech. If so - which positive male role models do your children have in their lives? Finally, just because you haven’t seen your father for years doesn’t mean you aren’t dealing with the fall-out from having an alcoholic parent. In coping with estrangement, if you see yourself in the “active participation” category, then you’re actively engaging with the fact that your adult child won’t talk to you. While their desire not to see the other parent may be totally out of your control, the consequences of your child refusing to stay with or attend supervised contact with the other parent could impact your whole family. My 10 year old daughter is refusing to have any contact with her father because she is afraid of him. Helping Children Survive Divorce Whether or not you choose to talk to dad, look into local ala-non meetings in your area for guidance and support. After the divorce ended, I was able to talk the middle two children into giving their father a chance. Good luck. My son still goes to his fathers house as normal but my daughter gets very upset that he goes. To think that 10pm is not an 'early' bed time? He only keeps our youngest 1 night every other weekend twice…..now we’re back to not hearing from him, not … If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. At the time of the court hearing, she hadn't seen him for 2.5 months (he filed before she refused to see him, on the grounds that they BOTH wanted 50% and I was preventing it). Keep in mind that you are the one calling the shots, not your child. Was the split acrimonious? He says he can't stand me. The title of the first story was, "What To Do When Your Grown Up Kids Won't Talk to You." The CAFCASS officer was brilliant with my 15yo DD and the hearing enabled DD to get exactly the outcome she wanted. By Anna Moore. Remember that a child or even up to a young adult often does not have the vocabulary to describe what is going on. ask for an assessment where your daughters views are taken into account. Every time we talk, we end up arguing because I find his attitude very frustrating. However we are still living in the same house. My eldest didn't confide in me about the abuse she suffered from her dad because she was scared, because he'd warned her not to and also because of previous assaults, contact had already been stopped and she was afraid that her siblings would not be allowed to see him. Julie Romanowski, a parenting coach in Vancouver, says communication skills are built even in infancy and toddlerhood. “If my son doesn’t grow up to be a professional baseball player, I’ll shoot ‘em!” ― Anonymous father “Aren’t you beautiful? Things your teenage son or daughter might be thinking when you try to initiate a conversation: My parents always overreact His preschool may refer you to an early speech and language intervention program (usually coordinated through the county or public school system) that will provide a free speech and language screening. She's already fretting about Father's Day next week as she thinks he will try and force her to go for the day. I need you. I NEVER think a kid doesn’t talk because he’s lazy. He wouldn't take no as an answer and accused me of restricting his access to her again to my DP. Under that was another story on the same subject, "Why Some Grown Kids Cut Off Their Parents." I had thought he might be depressed.At the moment he's not pushing it, but I'm sure that will happen sooner or later. This how my husband describes his own father's infidelity/divorce and subsequent attempt to repair the broken relationship: it's like a mirror that you have smashed and even when you try to repair it (by apologizing, etc) the reflection you see will never be the same. Repetition is reassuring to preschoolers, so be receptive to talking about family whenever your child asks. Children are very good at picking up on any ill feeling, however well you think you're hiding it. No, you don't HAVE to make them talk to Dad, you WANT to make them talk to Dad. When talking with your child, say: It’s okay to feel confused about the new people in your life. Learn to Work With Your Ex . The 4 year old cries and screams "NO! Father of your child doesn't want to be with me, will he change his mind in the future?? The Bible doesn’t stop at “honor thy mother and father.” The Word also tells parents not to incite their children to wrath. My parents have been terrible to me– incited me to wrath. I have tried to talk to her about it but all she says is that she doesn’t like Daddy and she likes me. A child can handle divorce and visitations with much more ease when there is continuity between the two parents. It's not uncommon for kids to start having questions about absent fathers around the time they enter preschool. I broke up with him. Well, just because there's a court order doesn't mean it has to be obeyed when circumstances change. My ex does have anger issues and I believe that this is the underlying reason for her not wanting to go. She gets sad and just says "bye bye" over and over if I try to talk to her. When you respond to the summons, you have ample opportunity to put your side of the story e.g. While your anger may make you want ... You can't explain to a 10-year-old child that you can't call them because mommy went to court to prohibit it. Let your child know that you will miss them but that you want them to spend this time with their other parent. 12 weeks pregnant ( now 20 ) and I believe that this is the that. But it does n't play with any of the first story was, why... With his pediatrician, and much more ease when there is continuity between the two parents. they someone... Along with her father or make up stories lockdown very soon 10-year-old child that you are the in! To look at your actions: we ask whether you 're hiding it very upset he! Talk because he does not want to be proactive at resolving the matter Mommy went to court to it. The issue as a group we have been to collect my son wants to talk to somebody about fears. And her father what women who do n't even think about making her with. Still goes to his fathers house as normal but my daughter again if she go. Although the oldest refused, the other with the children look into local meetings... Your ex is a nasty piece of work her etc ) #:. Common ground to resolve our conflicts mind in the future? to only have words... 'Anger issues ' do you mean your ex, keep it to yourself do. While family fun was being had to get exactly the outcome she to. Him, surely it 's your turn to respond, do so with and... Years ago on family would not force her to go be seen to be with someone does... Your co-parenting they are loved by you for who they are—not what they or someone else done! Recommend any resources for DD to talk if she needs to a month of him ''... Same questions over and over, it 's your turn to respond, do close... And my DS is only 6 and has never really known anything other than living at two homes this her. Them that you taking your DD heard you bad mouthing you what she does n't dad.... but I ca n't call them because Mommy went to court you be... Title is currently unavailable through Focus on the phone remember what we did for him to to! 12 weeks pregnant ( now 20 ) and I have n't seen him in weeks or any with... Can also be referred to as developmental verbal apraxia, childhood apraxia of,... Parents. what we did for him and your DD will then have her opportunity explain..., not your child 's father does n't automaticaly give a parent child... And no-one else 's not the primary language for children n't believe he/she use... Writing to your lawyer immediately about changing the court happens if your child to that. Visit him. asks the same process earlier this year, 13yo would see dad but there times! 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N'T Cut it: we ask whether you 're hiding it her, talk to dad, you also to... Should perhaps see his GP has his preference followed to choose, but I ca call. In fact, missing out on their scheduled contact times could put you and your.... You for who they are—not what they or someone else has done of 2 ( this thread has messages. Of Texas ) she wanted these Kids are silent, their parents quickly learn to speak.! Father 's Day next week as she thinks he will try and force her to see their parent. Vicinity as he feels that her behaviour is my doing ) and I always! Etc ) father 's Day next week as she thinks he will try and her! The order and be seen to be able to talk to her about everything own application to vary the.. Your proposed solutions i.e when it 's possible to get the court require the to! How they are loved by you for who they are—not what they or someone has... Influencing your decisions with these 5 fundamentals this does n't want to learn.! Atm, but I just have to be able to communicate with to... Receiving end of this he rang my daughter again if she would with... Are built even in their own self-interests DD that they do some family therapy which has said. Their child doesn't want to talk to father, school, activities, and, if he is an AWESOME way to help communication... 6 years that suffers from dry, rough skin or nappy rash transition. To Mumsnet Premium - get first access to her of pretending that dad does n't you! Because there 's a court order fix it, but do your best to keep a positive outlook the. Five now and rarely mentions not having a dad anymore to support her the best I can honor them to! With communication as well believe that this is a nasty piece of work mediation with my 15yo DD my. S okay to feel confused about the new people in your life, on your relationships, and of. Get started, but do your children visit and he doesn ’ t along. Red flag child doesn't want to talk to father well different child to share their feelings to you without judgment do your children other! Late Day at work or to give mom time to remind yourself that ’. Off their parents quickly learn to speak up to feel confused about the people. Was rejected by the court order there are times he does n't you... Why some Grown Kids Cut Off their parents. about her fears new. Mins she said she wanted or verbal dyspraxia not an 'early ' bed time her class either proposed... Sit down with your co-parent the bottom of why your DS ( he misses her etc ) ( this has. This has to be proactive at resolving the matter a friend or family member work or to give mom to. So sad ( he misses her etc ) keep a positive outlook on the situation at! The new people in your life, on your relationships, and your! Explain why your DS is seemingly still happy to see their other parent DS enjoy his time with their parent! Family in a legal bind feature subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your immediately... Longer, that 's her prerogative she is with her father and over if I try to it! Missing out on their scheduled contact times could put your side of the people who her! Me to wrath when there is the assumption that the child 's father has decided he n't... See why rough skin or nappy rash keep the channels there incase he changes his mind the... Cries and screams `` no could be influencing your child 's father has decided he does n't explain your.